Split
by The Great Cloud Ninja
Summary: Naruto, a freshman at Konoha University, gets in a car accident one night, and slips into a coma. When he wakes up, he isn't himself: he thinks he's a 19 year old girl named Naruko, and that Sasuke is 'her' boyfriend. SasuNaru and others, AU college story
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** Naruto and all associated characters and place names belong to Kishimoto Masashi-sama. I am simply borrowing them for my own twisted fantasies.

A/N: If you are reading this, thank you for your interest in my fanfiction! This is by no means my first fanfiction, but it is my first Naruto fic and my first yaoi, so it practically is my first! I'm really nervous about this, since I've never written yaoi before. It's not going to get really good for a few chapters, but I like to set things up nicely before starting any romance. Comments, criticism and suggestions are greatly appreciated!

_**Split**_

Prologue

"_Dude, this party is awesome!" a brunet yelled across the room, clutching a cup of rum and Coke in his right hand. He swayed slightly as he tried to cross the room, picking his way through a throng of people blocking his path. The red triangular tattoos on his cheeks were almost completely overpowered by his drunken flush. Inuzuka Kiba finally made it across the room, only to turn around as he heard a loud cheer from the center of the crowd—apparently, the party's hostess had decided to get on top of a table and do a striptease. "Haha, I bet Lee's gonna be pissed when he finds out about tonight!" he roared in amusement._

"_Why are we even at this troublesome party?" Kiba's friend Nara Shikamaru asked from the couch along the wall, near the spot where Kiba had braced his weight in an effort to make the room stop spinning. Next to him, his girlfriend Sabaku Temari had passed out and was leaning against his shoulder, snoring lightly. Shikamaru had one arm wrapped around her shoulders protectively._

"_You know Naruto can't resist Sakura. She's got him wrapped around her little finger," Kiba replied, slurring his words slightly. He was about to continue, but stopped when he noticed a head of spiked blond hair approaching him. "Speak of the devil, here he is now! How's the party, Naruto?"_

_Uzumaki Naruto shot a wry look over his shoulder at the table where Haruno Sakura and her best friend Yamanaka Ino were now doing a very interesting sort of bump-n-grind, both of them half-naked and holding bottles of beer as they giggled madly. "Despite the fact that the sight of two girls grinding each other like that is really hot, this party is pretty much a waste of time. You guys ready to go?"_

"_I've been ready for the past two hours," Shikamaru replied dully, despite having to practically scream to be heard over the music._

"_Aww, Kyuubi-kun, the party's just heating up! All the 'cool' people just got here." Naruto groaned at Kiba's nickname for him—ever since their class had studied the folklore of the tailed beasts in Literature class, Kiba had been using the name of the nine-tailed demon fox for Naruto. It was all because of his whisker-like birthmarks, and the fact that he had taken on vulpine features as he'd grown from a slightly chubby, baby-faced child into a slim, yet muscular adult—narrow, slanted eyes with a glint of mischief shining in the ocean-blue irises; a thin, straight nose; a foxy grin set with straight, white teeth._

"_Is that so?" Naruto asked. "Name one person that's cooler than me."_

_Kiba had opened his mouth to reply when a voice from behind Naruto said, "Dobe, when will you learn?" Naruto turned around to see obsidian eyes set in a porcelain-perfect face, shaded by bangs of midnight tinged with blue. "You know that I am so much cooler than you."_

"_Teme!" Naruto cried, glaring daggers at the pale-skinned boy. "Who do you think you are?" Uchiha Sasuke merely smirked at him._

"_Obviously, I'm not only cooler than you, but smarter as well. I heard you only barely passed the latest batch of exams. How did you even get into university?" Sasuke asked smugly._

"_Why you…you…teme!"_

"_I think you already said that, usuratonkachi." Sasuke patted Naruto's head with a chuckle before turning and walking away._

_Naruto clenched his fists and teeth, seeing red. He let out a growl and stalked over to the couch where Shikamaru and Temari were still seated, plopping down on the free end with a huff. "That guy gets on my nerves so much! He thinks he's the greatest thing to step foot on this earth."_

"_Well, he is one of the most popular guys in school…even if he doesn't seem to like anyone," Kiba pointed out._

"_It's all so troublesome. Why do you even let yourself get worked up over Uchiha?" Shikamaru asked Naruto._

"_I don't know. It's just always been like this. He says something rude, I get worked up, and he humiliates me."_

"_Well, if you would just let it slide, not let it get to you; then he wouldn't have a reason to humiliate you."_

_Naruto glared at Shikamaru. "Don't you think I've tried that before? It doesn't work. He knows exactly how to get me riled up, no matter how hard I try and keep my cool."_

"_So avoid him altogether."_

"_I've tried that too. It's like…I dunno, it's like he's got this 'Naruto Detector' and can find me no matter where I try to go to avoid him. And I know that I'm the only one he torments like this. It's like I'm his own personal punching bag, but I don't know what I did to make him act this way toward me."_

"_It's the fact that you exist, Naruto. Don't you know that?" Naruto looked up at the intruding voice to see Sakura and Ino standing in front of him. "Sasuke-kun hates you because you exist. Get that through your head." Sakura reached out to poke Naruto's forehead, but missed her aim and ended up falling forward into Naruto's lap, giggling madly. "Now, me on the other hand…I hate you because you won't fucking leave me alone," she slurred. She leaned forward and sloppily kissed him on the lips, breath reeking of vodka and beer. "There, now you've got a kiss, so you can leave me alone for the rest of your life."_

_Sakura's words twisted in Naruto's heart like a jagged knife. In a fit of anger, he pushed the cherry blossom-haired girl off him and stormed out of the house. Kiba and Shikamaru gave each other a glance before Kiba started to follow the blond, while Shikamaru picked up Temari and placed her gently on his back, carrying her out of the house. When Shikamaru got outside, he saw Kiba with his hands on Naruto's shoulders, trying to calm down their friend. "Dude, it's not worth it. She was drunk; she didn't know what the hell she was saying."_

"_Drunken people can't lie very well, can they?" Naruto asked, his voice deathly calm. "I'm leaving." Naruto pulled his keys out of his pocket and turned around, walking toward his car._

"_Wait!" Kiba ran after him, slipping slightly on the dewy grass of the Haruno's lawn. "You're all worked up. Let me drive."_

"_I haven't had anything to drink tonight, Kiba; I'll be fine driving." Naruto looked up at Shikamaru. "You taking her home?"_

_Shikamaru nodded. "She drove here, so I'll take her in her car and spend the night there. She's gonna need someone in case she throws up, and I don't trust either of her brothers to take care of her. They're too troublesome."_

_Naruto nodded. He didn't want to admit it, but the man was surprisingly tender and loving to Temari, whom he called 'troublesome' at least ten times a day. He watched as Shikamaru dug Temari's keys from her purse and carried her over to the Jeep she drove before getting into his own car, a bright orange station wagon that was older than he was. Kiba got into the passenger's seat as Naruto attempted to start the car. On the third try, the engine finally turned over and Naruto backed out of his parallel parking spot along the road, following the route toward the highway._

_Naruto pulled out onto the main road, somewhat surprised by the amount of traffic still on the road; it was already near midnight, but it was a Friday, so it at least made sense. Naruto cruised in the fast lane, half-listening to some song that Kiba had tuned into on the radio. He was absorbed in his thoughts about what Sakura had said to him, so much so that he didn't even notice that the oncoming headlights had crossed the median until they were right in front of him. He slammed on his brakes, but the other car didn't slow down at all—there was a squeal of tires—the breaking of glass, the crunch of folding steel—and then all Naruto knew was blackness._

* * *

A/N: That's it for now! I'm already in the process of writing Chapter One, but there won't be any hardcore SasuNaru-ness for a few chapters, as I've already explained. 

Here's a preview of the next chapter!

_Sasuke stormed into Konoha University Medical Center, walking up to a pretty blonde receptionist who sat at an information desk directly across from the sliding doors that Sasuke had just stepped through. the blonde looked up at Sasuke, finding herself momentarily unable to breathe as she caught a glimpse of obsidian eyes._

_"Uzumaki Naruto," Sasuke practically growled, his bangs falling to shade the upper half of his face._

_"One moment, please," the blonde practically purred, giving the raveonet a once-over. Sasuke rolled his eyes. _Why is it that girls can't seem to understand that I'm gay?_ he asked himself wearily._I thought women were supposed to have some sort of sixth sense about stuff like that.

_The blonde receptionist finally returned her gaze to her computer, but a frown soon appeared on her face. "I'm sorry sir, but Uzumaki-san is in the Intensive Care Unit. No one is allowed in to see him at the moment, but once he has been released to the Recovery Ward, immediate family will be allowed to see him on an individual basis."_

_Sasuke felt the blood drain from his face--not that anyone could tell, with his skin being so pale. "Can you tell me about his injuries?"_

_"I'm sorry, sir, that is confidential information. You'll have to speak with the supervising physician." She looked up at Sasuke. "What is your relation to Uzumaki-san?"_

_"I'm..." _I'm his bully. I'm his warden, his torturer, his executioner. I'm in love with him. _ "...a friend."_


	2. Chapter One

A/N: Thank you all for your kind reviews! Here's Chapter One; I hope you all enjoy it! And I'll have you know that I'm about halfway done typing Chapter Two, so I might post that tomorrow or Wednesday depending on the number of reviews I get for this and the previous chapter. I'm not asking for a set number, but the more I get, the faster I'll update!

Warnings for this chapter: Some language, but that's about it. See the Author's Note at the end of the chapter for details on names.

_**Split**_  
Chapter One

Sasuke stormed into Konoha University Medical Center, walking up to a pretty blonde receptionist who sat at an information desk directly across from the sliding doors that Sasuke had just stepped through. The blonde looked up at Sasuke, finding that she was momentarily unable to breathe as she caught a glimpse of obsidian eyes.

"Uzumaki Naruto," Sasuke practically growled, his bangs falling to shade the upper half of his face.

"One moment, please," the blonde practically purred, giving the raveonet a once-over. Sasuke rolled his eyes. _'Why is it that girls can't seem to understand that I'm gay?' _he asked himself wearily. _'I thought women were supposed to have some sort of sixth sense about stuff like that.'_

The blonde receptionist finally returned her gaze to her computer, but a frown soon appeared on her face. "I'm sorry sir, but Uzumaki-san is in the Intensive Care Unit. No one is allowed in to see him at the moment, but once he has been released to the Recovery Ward, immediate family will be allowed to see him on an individual basis."

Sasuke felt the blood drain from his face--not that anyone could tell, with his skin being so pale. "Can you tell me about his injuries?"

"I'm sorry, sir, that is confidential information. You'll have to speak with the supervising physician." She looked up at Sasuke. "What is your relation to Uzumaki-san?"

"I'm..." _'I'm his bully. I'm his warden, his torturer, his executioner. I'm in love with him_._'_ "...a friend."

"I see. Do you happen to know a number where we can reach any of his relatives? No one has answered at the phone number on his identification."

"Naruto is an orphan; he's a student at Konoha University, his roommate's name is Inuzuka Kiba. He has no immediate family or next-of-kin."

"Inuzuka-san is already aware of the situation, so that takes care of that problem." The receptionist's honey-brown eyes glinted dangerously. "Would you care to take a seat and wait for the supervising physician to return?" She indicated a row of seats placed very close to her desk; if he sat there, chances were good that he would be forced into a conversation with the receptionist.

"How long will it take?" Sasuke asked. It was only six in the morning, and he was in desperate need of coffee. At about two in the morning, just when he was about to leave the party, he'd suddenly felt a sickening, plummeting sensation in his gut, and his thoughts had immediately turned to the blond, whisker-faced boy that he'd seen only hours before. He asked around until he found someone who had the cell phone number of Naruto's roommate, Inuzuka Kiba; once he'd gotten it from a somewhat reliable, passably sober source, he'd immediately called. Unfortunately, he got the voice mail—but Sasuke wasn't an Uchiha for nothing. He called back every five minutes, religiously, until a groggy voice answered the phone at a quarter past five.

From what he could weasel out of the obviously hung-over Kiba, he and his roommate had been in some kind of accident and were at the Medical Center on campus. Kiba assured Sasuke that he was fine, but didn't have any information on Naruto other than that he'd looked a lot worse off than Kiba had been.

Sasuke knew that Kiba wasn't trying to upset him; he knew that the dog-lover had no idea how the news was going to affect the Uchiha. Sasuke felt his whole world stop dead in its tracks as Kiba continued to explain, in excruciating detail, the accident (or what he could remember of it) and the trip to the hospital soon afterward. Before Kiba was finished with the tale, Sasuke had already gotten into his car and started to drive from his off-campus apartment to the Medical Center, which was about fifteen minutes away, on the far side of Konoha's campus.

Sasuke directed his attention back to the receptionist, who had apparently decided to fill the lull in conversation with mindless chatter. "Do you know where I might be able to get some coffee?" he asked when she paused for a breath.

"Oh! Of course; there is a cafeteria right down the main hallway and to the right. They're serving breakfast at the moment, if you're hungry."

Somehow, the idea of food didn't sit to well with Sasuke; the churning in his stomach over his worry for Naruto almost guaranteed that anything solid would not remain inside for long. "Thank you," Sasuke replied, taking his leave to head toward the cafeteria.

Sasuke was thankful to see that the lines were short and the coffee fresh when he arrived in the cafeteria. Unlike the on-campus cafeteria that was frequented by the students, the hospital's included several different chain restaurants—Pizza Hut, Burger King, and Taco Bell were all contained in the large room—as well as the usual buffet-style fare. The cafeteria also held a Starbuck's, for which Sasuke was immensely thankful. At his turn, Sasuke ordered and paid for a venti black coffee, which was delivered to him a few minutes later.

Coffee in hand, Sasuke slowly walked back to the main waiting room, taking a seat as far away from the reception desk as he could manage. He settled into his seat and took a long sip of the bitter black drink in his hand, sighing mentally as he felt the hot liquid roll down his throat. He knew that he would begin to feel the caffeine's effect in a matter of minutes. At this early hour of the morning, the waiting room wasn't too terribly busy, and Sasuke felt almost relaxed for the first time in hours…

"What are you doing here, Uchiha?" a familiar, half-asleep voice startled Sasuke into consciousness—when had he dozed off? Sasuke looked up to see Nara Shikamaru and his girlfriend, Sabaku Temari. Before he could think of a plausible excuse, the words rolled off his tongue.

"I heard that the dobe was in the hospital, and I wanted to see if there was any way that I could make the doctors keep him here permanently."

Shikamaru's eyes narrowed dangerously, but his girlfriend's hand on his arm stopped him from acting completely out of character and delivering a punch to the Uchiha's smirking face. Temari stepped forward, pulling a fan from her purse and snapping it open. Sasuke didn't understand exactly why she did it; apparently, it was just one of her habits. She suddenly fluttered the fan in Sasuke's face, causing him to reflexively take a step back. He locked eyes with the blonde, and she stared into his dark orbs for a long moment before smirking triumphantly. "Thought so," she said cryptically.

"The hell was that for?" Sasuke demanded.

"I couldn't see your eyes properly with your hair hanging in your face, and I didn't think you'd take too kindly to me touching your perfect Uchiha skin."

"And why, pray tell, did you want to look in my eyes?" Sasuke asked through gritted teeth.

"I needed to see the truth."

"What truth?" Shikamaru asked.

"Can't tell you; it's his secret to divulge." Temari closed her fan and used it to gesture to Sasuke before placing it back in her bag.

"I don't have any secrets," Sasuke spat.

Temari smirked. "Is that so? Then how come it seems that I'm now the only other person in the world who knows that you're gay?"

Sasuke's face flushed at her words, and Temari crowed in accomplishment. "I knew it."

Shikamaru blinked in surprise, turning to Sasuke. "You're gay? But…women throw themselves at you."

"I know. But seriously, you're supposed to be a genius, Nara. How is it that even you couldn't figure out why I turned all those girls down?"

Shikamaru scowled at Sasuke's jab, muttering "Troublesome…" under his breath.

"Excuse me…are you three here for Uzumaki Naruto?" Sasuke, Shikamaru and Temari all turned around to look at a woman, probably in her late twenties, with short black hair and wearing scrubs in a dark blue with the Konoha leaf embroidered in white on the shirt pocket. Her name tag read 'Shizune'. "I am the assistant of the hospital's supervisor, Dr. Kyushu Tsunade. Uzumaki-san has just been released to the Intensive Care Recovery Ward, and Dr. Kyushu would like to speak with you."

The three teens nodded mutely, following Shizune from the main waiting room through a maze of hallways and elevators until they reached the supervisor's office on the sixth floor of the building. Shizune knocked on the door sharply with her knuckles. "Come in," called a voice on the other side. Shizune opened the door and walked in first, allowing the three to enter the room before she closed the door. The doctor sitting at the desk motioned for the teenagers to take seats. Her long, light blonde hair was pulled back into two loose pigtails, while her bangs framed her face. Under her doctor's coat, she wore a low-cut kimono style shirt that showed off her ample bust. A stethoscope was laid over her neck.

"So, you are all friends of Uzumaki Naruto and Inuzuka Kiba, correct?" she asked, getting right down to business.

"Not exactly," Shikamaru muttered under his breath, but Temari kicked him in the shin as punishment. "Yes, ma'am, Dr. Kyushu, we are," the blonde replied.

"Please, I would prefer it if you would call me Tsunade. I don't like people to be so formal with me unless it is necessary."

"Understood, Tsunade-sama." Sasuke spoke up for the first time since they had left the waiting room.

"May I please have your names? I'm sure that Inuzuka-san and Uzumaki-san would be happy to know who came to visit them," Tsunade asked.

"Certainly," Temari replied. "My name is Sabaku Temari."

"Nara Shikamaru."

"And I am Uchiha Sasuke."

Tsunade's eyes widened slightly. "So, you're an Uchiha, eh? I suppose I should be thanking you."

Shikamaru narrowed his eyes. "Why is that?"

"The Uchiha family has long been a supporter of Konoha University. When the family was killed—barring the two sons—millions of dollars of the family's money was donated not only to the university, but also to the hospital. We've been able to renovate our facilities and get more state-of-the-art equipment to make the hospital better at handling the tough cases. Such as the case of Uzumaki Naruto-san."

"What's wrong with him?" Temari asked worriedly—Tsunade's tone didn't bode well.

Though he would never admit it aloud, Sasuke was worried as well. The churning in his gut was back and stronger than before, particularly after Tsunade's little speech about his family. She had carefully avoided the subject of what had caused his family's death, and for that he was grateful, but it didn't do anything to assuage his nausea.

"Let me begin with the details of the accident itself. From what the first responders could tell, a businessman had fallen asleep at the wheel while driving home. His car crossed the median and crashed into Naruto's. Fortunately, both Uzumaki-san and Inuzuka-san were wearing their seatbelts; unfortunately, the impact was mainly on the driver's side of the front of the car, meaning that Uzumaki-san suffered the brunt of the injuries, while Inuzuka-san's were light in comparison. Uzumaki was unconscious, but breathing, when the EMTs arrived. On the way here, he did briefly stop breathing, but the EMTs were able to get his airway open again before any permanent brain damage could set in.

"Now that he has arrived, it appears that your friend is doing well—many of his injuries looked worse than they truly were, and he is actually healing quite rapidly. However, he still has a few cracked ribs and a broken wrist, as well as a dislocated shoulder. The worst part is that he seems to have suffered some major head trauma, and has gone into a coma. He is stable and breathing on his own, but he will not respond to any sort of outside stimulus.

For the second time within twelve hours, Sasuke felt his world screech to a halt. Tentatively—almost concernedly—he asked, "Tsunade-sama, when will he wake up?"

Tsunade sighed, rubbing at her eyebrows with her thumb and middle finger. "The fact that he is breathing on his own is a good sign; it means that he has not lost all mental functions. As of right now, it is hard to say; but the longer he stays unconscious, the harder it will be for him to wake up, and the more likely it is for him to fall into a completely vegetative state, where he will need machines to keep his heart beating and his lungs pumping. At that point, since he has no next-of-kin and no living will to speak of, we will have to contact his last guardian for a decision on"—

"You can stop there, Tsunade-sama. I understand."

"I would say to give him a week; if he has not awakened by then, it would be a good time to start praying, if you're religious." After a moment, she added, "And do not be surprised if he has slight amnesia or other mental problems; his brains, I'm sure, are completely addled by the accident."

"That cannot be good; he doesn't have much in the way of brains to begin with," Sasuke replied, the snide comment slipping out before he could control himself. _Damn, I hate that. I can be sarcastic so easily, but I can't for the life of me be sincere._

Rather than getting upset with him for putting down a defenseless person, though, Tsunade just let out a hearty laugh. "Ahh, I see. You two must be rivals, more than friends, am I right?"

"I suppose you could say that," Sasuke replied, allowing his face to slip into the familiar mask of the Uchiha smirk.

"More like torturer," Shikamaru muttered. Temari kicked him again. "What? Why are you being so troublesome?"

"Because you're getting me angry with your childishness," Temari responded.

"All right, all right, that's enough!" Tsunade barked, breaking up Temari and Shikamaru's argument. "Now, Inuzuka-san should be getting released soon, and after that I'll allow you all to go in and visit individually with Uzumaki-san for fifteen minutes each. Deal?"

"Deal," the three teens said simultaneously.

"Good."

* * *

A/N: And that's the end of Chapter One! I'm not going to go into the details of these particular visits with Naruto, because the next chapter will be his big awakening. Yay!!! Reviews and constructive criticism are always nice. 

As for names, I got Tsunade's family name from the story of "The Gallant Jiraiya", that was the name of the village that the Jiraiya in the story was from.

I'll also take this opportunity to list all of the couples that will be in this story for sure; more may pop up, but this is what I have planned:

SasuNaru (upcoming)  
ShikaTema (established)  
KibaHina (upcoming/established)  
JiraTsuna (established)  
LeeSaku (implied/upcoming)  
ChouIno (upcoming)

Established means that I've talked about it already; upcoming means that there will be more on it in the future; implied means that I've already hinted at it, but haven't done anything specific with it yet. The JiraTsuna is in the "established" category because Kyushu is actually Jiraiya's family name in this story.


	3. Chapter Two

A/N: Wow! All these hits and reviews are giving me such a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. They're inspiring me to keep writing! Unfortunately, I think this will be a bad chapter, because there are some things in here that don't really make sense, but are necessary for the plot. On LiveJournal, which is where the unedited version of this story is posted (check out my profile for more info) someone said that this story was really original; it's going to get a bit clichéd here soon, but hopefully it will still be unique enough that people will like it. Let me know what you think by reviewing!

Warnings for this chapter: Language, strangeness, possible OOC, gender issues.

_**Split**_  
Chapter Two

Out of all the people in the world, Sasuke thought he only truly hated one: his older brother and his family's murderer, Uchiha Itachi. Despite the fact that the courts had ruled him unfit for trial due to mental illness—for what kind of polite, upstanding young man would kill his entire family in cold blood?—Sasuke knew that Itachi had planned the killing meticulously, making sure that he was standing above his parents' lifeless bodies when Sasuke entered the house after school that day. Sasuke had been eight years old then; now, more than ten years later, he still could not forgive his brother, and had even vowed to kill him as revenge.

However, in the past five days, two others had been added to Sasuke's mental "hit list": namely, Inuzuka Kiba and Nara Shikamaru. The two boys had gotten permission slips from Tsunade to be able to skip classes and stay in Naruto's private recovery room as long as they wished, even after visiting hours were over; at least one of them was with him at all times since Naruto had been transported there.

Meanwhile, Sasuke still had to attend all of his classes; he still had to adhere to visiting hours; and he had a sneaking suspicion that Nara or Inuzuka had told the nurses that he might get violent with Naruto if left alone with the unconscious boy, so there was always a nurse or a candy striper in the room or poking their heads in every two or three minutes when Sasuke was around.

At present, Sasuke was sitting in his Calculus class, trying to pay attention to the thick Eastern European accent of the professor. _'It's been five days…five fucking days, and the dobe still hasn't woken up.'_ Sasuke sighed mentally. _'Maybe he thinks that whatever place he's in is a better alternative to being here…Naruto, I promise, if you wake up, I'll tell you the truth about why I torment you so much. And after that, I'll throttle your ass for making me worry about you so much.'_

Sasuke's thoughts were interrupted by a small vibration in his pocket. He pulled out his cell phone to see that he had a text message. Opening the text, he was surprised to see that it was from Inuzuka.

_Come to the hospital ASAP—Naruto's awake and asking for you._

Sasuke's eyes almost popped out of their sockets as he read the message over and over. _'He's…asking for me? Why?'_ Not bothering to worry about that question, Sasuke quickly slipped his Calc notebook into his black messenger bag with the Uchiha fan—his family's symbol—on the front. He started to walk out of the classroom, but his teacher stopped him by asking, "And where do you think you're going, Uchiha-san?"

"I'm sorry, Romanoff-sensei, but a family emergency just came up." Before the teacher could point out that Sasuke didn't have a family, the raveonet was out the door and walking toward the hospital. _'Thank God I was on campus when I got that text,'_ he thought to himself.

* * *

Sasuke practically ran down the hall, heading toward Naruto's room. When he walked in, he was surprised to see that Naruto was still unconscious. He quickly rounded on Kiba. "Did you think it would be funny, dumbass? I was in fucking class!" He grabbed Kiba by the shirt collar, pulling back his right fist in preparation of delivering a blow.

"Sasu-kun, don't hit him!" came a familiar voice from across the room, stopping Sasuke in his tracks. He slowly turned around to see that Naruto was awake and slowly pulling himself into a sitting position. "I was only resting my eyes," he added playfully.

Sasuke let go of Kiba's shirt and approached the bed slowly. "So, you're okay?"

The blond nodded. "Yep, I feel fine! This cast is a little itchy, though." He indicated to the neon orange cast that was still around his right wrist. Naruto looked down at it. "Hmm…I wonder if the doctors could redo it with pink gauze."

Sasuke quirked one eyebrow. "Pink? I thought you loved orange."

"But orange is so…masculine. Pink is better…or maybe purple. Then again, a light orange wouldn't be too bad, that can be cute. What do you think, Sasu-kun? Which looks best on me: pink, purple, or orange?"

It took Sasuke a moment to realize that Naruto was actually asking him a question. "Umm…orange, I guess. I haven't actually seen you wear pink or purple."

"What are you talking about, silly? I wear pink and purple all the time!" Naruto reached up to mess with his hair, but his hand froze near his ear and a look of surprise appeared on his face. Slowly, he continued moving it up until he reached his shaggy, spiky blond locks, and the surprise slowly turned to horror. "What happened to my hair?"

"What do you mean? It's always been like that, Naruto," Kiba said from his side of the room.

Naruto's eyes widened until they looked like saucers—for a moment, Sasuke had a sudden thought that he looked very feminine, and pictured Naruto wearing a short, frilly dress. He had to quickly pinch the bridge of his nose to prevent a nosebleed.

"Sasu-kun, who's Naruto?" the whisker-faced boy asked.

"You're Naruto," Kiba continued.

"No, my name is Naru_ko_, not Naru_to_. Right, Sasu-kun?" Sasuke stared at Naruto, speechless. "I know that you know; you've screamed it enough times to have it memorized." Suddenly, Sasuke heard a sound that was at once endearing and horrifying: Naruto let out a very feminine giggle. "Silly boys."

"W-what?" Shikamaru asked. "What do you mean, he's screamed it?"

Naruto giggled again. "We've been dating for three years, right? Don't you think we would have done stuff together in that amount of time? I'm not exactly a prude, you know." Naruto grabbed Sasuke's right hand in his left and entwined their fingers before pulling it up to leave a kiss on the back of Sasuke's hand. The Uchiha's face flushed.

"Sasu-kun, you look feverish. Are you getting sick? Here, lay down with me." Naruto scooted over and pulled Sasuke into the hospital bed with him, wrapping his other arm around Sasuke's waist as best he could. "Mmm, that's much better," Naruto said quietly, burying his face in Sasuke's chest.

Sasuke chanced a glance over at Shikamaru and Kiba, who were both staring at the bed, dumbstruck. Kiba was the first to recover, but before he could say anything, Tsunade and Shizune walked through the door. "Sorry it took so long; I had an emergency appendectomy to take care of. So Uzumaki-san is awake?"

"Who are you?" Naruto asked, pulling his face away from Sasuke's chest to take a good look at the doctor and her assistant.

"I'm Dr. Kyushu Tsunade; you can call me Tsunade-sama, if you'd like. I'm the hospital's supervising physician, and in charge of your case. Now, I need to ask you a few questions about the accident." Naruto nodded; it seemed that Kiba and Shikamaru had already filled him in on why he was in the hospital. "First, I'd like you to state your full name, age and date of birth."

"Uzumaki Naruko; 19 years old; born October 10, 1987."

Tsunade looked at Naruto strangely. "I'm sorry; could you repeat your name? I'm not sure I heard you correctly."

"My name is Uzumaki Naruko," Naruto said again.

Tsunade bit her lip, but nodded and wrote the name down. "Now, Uzumaki-san, can you please tell me what you remember from before the crash?"

Naruto nodded, and then wrinkled his brow for a moment, thinking hard. "I can't remember much…I remember going to Forehead Girl's—I mean, Haruno Sakura's—party with Kiba and Shikamaru; Sasuke had a late class, so he couldn't come with us, he came later. I didn't have anything to drink, but Sakura must have, because she got really pissed at me and started screaming that I was worthless, that I deserved to die and that Sasuke could do better than me. I didn't want to cry in front of her, so I left. Kiba and Shikamaru came after me and calmed me down a little; then Shikamaru left with Temari and Kiba took me home. On the way, all I could think about was what Sakura said, and how…" Naruto sniffled.

Sasuke looked up to see that there were tears running down Naruto's face. "How Sasu-kun didn't come and rescue me from Sakura. It made me wonder if she was right. That's the last thing I remember thinking…after that, it's blackness up until when I woke up earlier."

Tsunade finished taking notes a few moments later, and she looked up at Naruto. "Uzumaki-san, what about before that night? Can you tell me more about yourself?"

Naruto nodded, wiping his face with his free hand. Shizune got a few tissues out of a nearby box and handed them to Naruto, and he dabbed at his eyes. "Thank you. Now…as long as I can remember, I've been an orphan. When I was a little girl, I lived with a whole bunch of foster families; I kept getting passed around for various reasons. Sometimes the family was nice, but couldn't afford a foster child after a while; other families were mean, and then I would be a terrible child and they would return me to the orphanage saying that they couldn't take care of me. But when I was twelve, I was fostered by a man named Umino Iruka. He was a schoolteacher."

Sasuke listened to this take with great interest; from what he knew of Naruto, this was actually all the truth.

"I lived with Iruka-sensei until I turned sixteen and could file for independence. He still allowed me to stay with him, but I was able to get a job and help out with the rent and expenses, as well as start to save up money for university. I knew that I would get some scholarships and financial aid, but I wanted to avoid getting a lot of loans when I went to university. When I was in my last year of high school, I took the university entrance exam and was accepted to Konoha University. I was very excited to be able to go there, because that was where Sasu-kun had decided to go." With that, Naruto looked up at Sasuke and gave him the most dazzling smile Sasuke had ever seen. He noticed Tsunade looking at him, and he nodded in confirmation.

"Thank you, Uzumaki-san," the older blonde replied. "I am going to be back in a bit; we need to run some blood work and tests on you to make sure that your body is healing properly and that there has not been any permanent damage from the crash, all right? Uchiha-san, if you'll come with me, please."

Naruto nodded before turning his head to give Sasuke a peck on the cheek. His face flushed again as he extricated himself from the blond's grasp, getting out of the bed to follow Tsunade and Shizune into the hall.

"What is wrong with him, Tsunade-sama? Why does he think he's a girl?"

Tsunade sighed and muttered something about needing a drink before answering. "This is not a diagnosis—we'll need to run some more mental tests to be sure—but as of right now I have a feeling that we're looking at a case of multiple personality disorder."

"You mean to tell me that Naruto has a split personality?"

"To put it bluntly, yes. But this seems like a unique case. Rather than having a completely independent age, character, and history, this other personality, Naruko, seems to have been created by Uzumaki-san's brain to fill in for him until his own consciousness is ready to resurface. Do you know if Uzumaki-san really did have a conflict with Haruno-san before his accident?"

Sasuke nodded. "She told me herself; well, more like gloated about it. She told me that she told Naruto that I hated him because he existed, and she said that she kissed him before telling him that he should leave her alone for the rest of his life."

"And does Uzumaki-san have feelings for Haruno-san?" Sasuke nodded again. "I see…it's making much more sense now. I'm almost positive my hypothesis is correct. Uzumaki-san was probably overwhelmed by Haruno-san's response, and needs to work through that emotional trauma before his own consciousness can regain control; once that happens, he will probably lose all memory of Naruko and possibly any memories from after the accident."

"So what does that mean for me?"

"Firstly, we need to make sure that Naruko understands that she is in a male's body; for the sake of Uzumaki-san, it would be best for Naruko to try and act as much like Uzumaki-san as possible. I will leave that up to you, Inuzuka-san and Nara-san. When Uzumaki-san is released from the hospital, I would like to set up weekly counseling meetings with myself and one of the psychiatrists on staff here, so that we can learn more about what exactly is going on inside of Uzumaki-san's mind. Since you seem to be the most precious person to Naruko at the moment, it would probably be best for you to humor her and play along with her idea that you are her significant other. It may be uncomfortable, given that Naruko is in a male body, but it may help in getting her to act more like Uzumaki-san in other aspects."

"I understand, Tsunade-sama." On the outside, he was keeping his face impassive, but inside he felt a war going on between his heart and his head. Part of him was thrilled at the opportunity to be Naruto's boyfriend, even if it was just to humor his split personality; but the other part was warning him to be cautious, reminding him that this Naruko was not Naruto, and that taking advantage of the situation might ruin his chances with the real Uzumaki forever. "When will Naruto be released?"

"As soon as we can determine whether Uzumaki-san has had any paralysis or other mental problems, he will be free to go. It should not take more than a few hours, if you would like to stay here and wait. Most of the tests will be performed in his room."

"I think I will, Tsunade-sama. Thank you."

"Oh, and one more thing—Uzumaki-san is roommates with Inuzuka-san, correct? It might be a good idea for Naruko to room with someone else, until the real Uzumaki-san regains control."

"Are you thinking that Naruto—Naruko—stay with some girls?"

Tsunade tapped her chin as she thought. "Actually, I suppose it might be best for Naruko if she stayed with you, if it's at all possible. I don't think that any girls would be comfortable with the idea of having Uzumaki-san staying at their apartment, even if he does have the mentality of a woman."

Sasuke nodded once more before the doctor walked down the hall to order the necessary tests. Meanwhile, the onyx-eyed boy returned to Naruto's room to find him in tears, with Kiba and Shikamaru trying frantically to calm him. "What's wrong?"

"Sasu-kun, what's wrong with me?" Naruto asked frantically. "What happened to me? What did the doctors do?"

"What are you talking about?"

Naruto pointed toward his crotch before bursting out into a fresh flow of sobs. Startled, Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto, drawing the blond closer to himself. Naruto clutched his shirt and cried into his shoulder for a good minute, finally calming down enough to tell Sasuke what was wrong.

"I…I told Shika-kun and Kiba-kun that I needed to go to the bathroom, and then all of a sudden I felt something hard between my legs. I didn't know what it was; since you weren't in here I knew it couldn't be you, so I moved my blankets and my hospital gown and…and I… Why do I have a penis?!"

"Listen, Naruto"—

"My name is NARUKO!" Naruto screamed, breaking into tears once more.

"Shh, shh, I'm sorry, Naruko. Please calm down, everything's going to be okay, I promise. Come on, calm down." Sasuke started to gently rock Naruto, surprised at how small and fail his body seemed at the moment. Normally, his energy and bright nature made him seem larger than life, strong and gorgeous…but Sasuke also liked this small Naruto, who he could coddle and care for and love and protect. Sasuke continued to murmur into Naruto's ear and rock him back and forth slowly, until his hysterics died down. "Okay, Naruko, there we go, that's good." When he had calmed down to sniffles, Sasuke pressed a tender kiss to his forehead. "Perfect." Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Kiba's jaw drop in surprise, and he smirked into Naruto's hair. The smirk turned into an honest-to-God smile, though, when Sasuke felt Naruto wrap his arms around the raveonet, turning the comforting embrace into a slightly awkward hug.

Sasuke wanted to say something, but at that moment Tsunade walked in with Shizune and another nurse following behind. "How is she doing? I heard her yell from down the hall."

"Then why didn't you come down here and check on him?" Shikamaru asked.

"She only screamed once, and it didn't sound like she was in pain, so I figured she would be all right for a few minutes," Tsunade reasoned. "Besides, if there'd been something seriously wrong with her, you would have come to find me."

"Tsunade-sama, she found out," Sasuke told the doctor.

"I see. She's probably scared half out of her mind, waking up in this state."

"What's wrong with me?" Naruto asked from his position on Sasuke's lap. "Why do I have a dick? What did you do to me?"

"Uzumaki-san, we did not do anything to you. But there is something we need to tell you. Your real name is not Uzumaki Naruko; it is Uzumaki Naruto. You are a male."

"No! No, I'm a girl!" Naruto countered, on the verge of tears again and gripping Sasuke almost painfully.

Tsunade, however, would not be dissuaded from explaining everything. "Naruko-san, have you ever heard of multiple personality disorder?" The blond in Sasuke's arms nodded fearfully. "After the accident, Naruto-san—the real you—needed to take some time to mentally recuperate. You were created by Naruto-san's mind as someone who could take over and live for him until he was ready to face the world again." Tears started rolling down Naruto's face, and he was whispering "No, no, no," over and over.

"I'm not trying to hurt you or upset you, but you need to know the truth. No one outside of this room knows that you are a girl, so you need to act like a boy when you are around other people. You need to keep up the appearance that you are Naruto-san until he is ready to come back. Do you think you can do that?"

"I'm not a boy, I'm a girl…" Naruto said again, but this time it sounded more like a whine than a statement of fact. "I don't want to act like a boy."

"You don't have to do it all the time, Naruko. Only when you are in public. When you are alone with your friends and Uchiha-san, you can be a girl."

Naruto sniffled. "Really?" He looked up at Sasuke with watery eyes. "I don't know how to be a boy, though."

"They will teach you," Tsunade explained. She reached out and wiped away Naruto's tears. "It will only be for a little while. Think of it as a challenge, okay? Do you like challenges?"

"Yes," Naruto said. He took a deep, shuddering breath. "This is going to be hard, isn't it?"

"Probably. But you have good friends to help you out."

"Yeah, the best." Naruto snuggled a bit closer to Sasuke and added, "And an amazing boyfriend." The raven-haired teen blushed scarlet.

"Well then, there you go. Will you do it?"

Naruto sniffed, but responded, "If I'm really Naruto, then I can't let him down, can I?"

"That's right," Sasuke said. "He's counting on you." _'I am too. You're wonderful, but I want the real Naruto back.'_

"Okay then. I have to do it. It's my personal code of honor that once I make a promise, I keep it, no matter what." Sasuke smiled slightly, remembering that he had once heard Naruto say that exact same phrase.

"Well before you can do that, we have to run some tests. Are you ready?"

Naruto nodded. "Let's do it."

* * *

A/N: My Lord! This chapter is over 7 and a half pages on Microsoft Word! And the previous chapter was almost 6 pages, so this is even longer. I know that the whole "telling Naruko the truth" scene is weird and probably rushed, but I did that on purpose, because the whole thing was just a monster. I wanted to get it done and out of the way as soon as possible, so that I can get on to the actual comedy part of the story. By the way, this story occurs in early spring of 2007, which is why Naruto was born in 1987 but is not yet 20 years old.

As for the story itself, I'm sorry if the medical explanation was confusing; I don't know much about Multiple Personality Disorder, but I do know that it can sometimes develop in young people who suffer from abuse or torture. I was not trying to be medically accurate, so please do not flame me because of that; after all, this is just a fan fiction, not a clinical journal or research report.

That said, here's a preview of the next chapter (Remember, Naruko and Naruto are one and the same; From here on out, I'll use Naruko when she's just with her friends or at the hospital, and Naruto when in public, such as at school):

_Naruko had been poked, prodded, scanned, and stuck with needles to within an inch of her life by the time that Tsunade had announced her fit for discharge. Kiba and Shikamaru had gone back to the dorm that Kiba and Naruto shared to get some fresh clothing for Naruko, and they had returned with a pair of jeans, some black boxers, and a bright orange tee shirt with a black swirl on the front as well as a pair of sandals in dark blue. After dropping off the clothes, they went to the reception desk to fill out the discharge paperwork while Sasuke stayed in the room, waiting for Naruko to come out of the bathroom. She had insisted on taking a shower as soon as she found out that her cast was waterproof. _'I can't blame her,' _Sasuke admitted._ 'Even with sponge baths, being in bed for five days would make anyone start to smell.'

"_Sasu-kun, I need your help," Naruko called just then, a few minutes after turning off the shower. Sasuke's brow furrowed as he got out of his chair, wondering what he would find inside that bathroom. Opening the door, he saw Naruko wearing only the boxers, which were made of silk and clinging to her still slightly damp, obviously male body, making a certain anatomical part even more obvious to the Uchiha's roving eye. He quickly looked away and covered his face with his hand, hoping he would not get a nosebleed. "Sasu-kun, I can't get my shirt or pants on with this cast. Will you help?"_

"_Sure." Sasuke was surprised to hear the coherent word come from his mouth._


End file.
